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I became a Buddhist nun because I wanted to learn about "Mu," which is connected to emptiness in Buddhism. Before I came to the temple, I worried a lot about my future and what other people thought about me. I thought money and success would make me happy, but I still felt something was missing. I learned about impermanence. My teacher Snack told me that nothing lasts forever. Everything changes, including our feelings and relationships. At first, I didn't really like this idea because I wanted good things to stay the same. But later, I understood that change is something we cannot avoid. I also learned about attachment. My teacher said that we often suffer because we want things to happen in our own way. I used to get upset when things didn't go as I expected. Now I try to accept things even when they don't go the way I want. It is still difficult sometimes. Another thing I learned was compassion. I learned that we should care about other people and try to understand their feelings. At the temple, I helped prepare food, cleaned the rooms, and talked with other nuns. I realized that helping others doesn't always have to be something big. The hardest thing for me to understand was Mu. At first, I thought it just meant nothing. But my teacher explained that everything is connected and nothing exists completely by itself. I didn't understand it right away. Even now, I sometimes get confused when I think about it. I also practiced meditation every morning. It was harder than I expected because I couldn't stop thinking about different things. Sometimes I got bored and wanted to leave. But after some time, I learned that I didn't have to stop every thought. I could just notice my thoughts and let them go. I still have a lot to learn about Buddhism. I sometimes worry about the future or get angry over small things. But I think I have changed a little since I came to the temple. I learned that I don't need to control everything, and I should be more patient with myself and others. I still don't fully understand Mu, but I want to keep learning. I think becoming a nun has helped me see life differently, even though I still have many questions. ~Sunmi | |