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When I was young, I was bull headed. I knew what I wanted and I went for it. I even butted heads with Sarina in the day(she was merciful). My first alliance was with the Ox. Mythic creatures are of a shared mindset with their kind normally. Oxen do what they see as their job, and woe be to those who try to sway them from their choices or abuse their choices. It's an angry path sometimes, it's a lonely path sometimes. It seemed to be how you see the world when things are black and white. I wanted to be kinder, one who is less all or nothing. When I picked my totem animal, I strayed from my path, and went Sheep. This was a guiding light, an aspirational pick. The ox is unassuming but when they decide they are firm and unyielding. I wanted something softer, even while recognizing I was naturally an ox, that my tendencies would always move the way of an ox, at least a little. I needed the giving nurturing water. The ability to flow. The Ox swam through the water, but he didn't flow with it, he moved despite it. I don't want to separate myself from the world so much. I need the water ox, the gentler form, the caretaker. The one who brings two quarreling friends along hoping for and allowing peace while knowing there will be a betrayal. Maybe I wont be as good at cutting people off as I currently am, maybe I won't be as likely to have my temper flare, but oh boy when it does explode it's going to be a tsunami. Being kind isn't always easy. It isn't always natural. Learning to be wrong, to give a little, that's why I believe the current me is a Water Ox. -Rambling writings of an elderly member of the divine order | |