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** PASSWORD PROTECTION WARNING FROM KRU INTERACTIVE **
** KRU Interactive will NEVER ask for your password for **
** ANY reason. Do not give your password to ANYBODY even **
** if they say they work for KRU Interactive, or for Nexus.**
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[Tacked crookedly to the wall with a rusty nail is a wretched, yellowed parchment. It's edges are singed, its corners torn, and its bottom hangs in ragged strips, dripping with foul brown stains that one dares not identify too closely. A lone fly circles the notice. Another has apparently perished upon it.] DJURA'S DUNG SCRAPING SERVICES "You make the mess, Djura cleans the rest!" Stables? Privies? Courtyards? Piles so great they defy the Lord? Fear not! Djura shall shovel it all! HEAR YE! HEAR YE! Have your stables become a cesspool? Has your privy grown so foul that even rats have fled? Does your courtyard resemble the aftermath of a dragon's visit to the royal litrine? THEN CALL DJURA, DUNG SCRAPER EXTRAORDINAIRE! For a modest fee, Djura shall scrape, shovel, haul, and dispose of your most unspeakable deposits. From noble manor to peasant hovel, from horse droppings to human offerings, no pile is too mighty, no stink too fearsome! APPOINTMENTS & EMERGENCIES Seek Djura in person to arrange an appointment. Walk-ins shall be accepted, provided he is not already knee-deep in another customer's misfortune. Emergency callouts are available for overflowing privies and other calamities of utmost foulness. An additional fee may apply for truly apocalyptic deposits. PAYMENT TERMS Coin is preferred and payment is due upon completion. Food, drink, and goods of reasonable value may be accepted at Djura's discretion. Payment in dung shall be refused. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION Djura guarantees a thorough scraping of the agreed premises. Should an offending deposit be overlooked, he shall return to rectify the matter at no additional charge. Lingering odors, however, shall be met with the reminder that some battles are not won in a single day. REMEMBER! Where others hold their noses, Djura rolls up his sleeves! Clean grounds! Happy hounds! And dung nowhere to be found! For inquiries, employment, or to rid your property of its most shameful piles, seek Djura the Dung Scraper! References available upon request, though former clients may prefer not to discuss the matter. Hire Djura Today! Before the Neighbors Smell Tomorrow! [The parchment's lower edge has since detached from the wall and now lies in a suspicious heap beneath the notice.] | |